The yesterday my younger cousin asked me if I had ever been in a relationship. She was curious because, unlike a few of my other cousins, I rarely bring anyone home. I had to explain this to her:
#1 I wasn't around for a big chunk of time.
Majority of high school I was away in Texas. The main relationship I had there was evident but not "clear" to my family. I was with a girl for nearly two years and she was my main focus. In fact, she was at my house all the time. If they lived there, they would have taken note of it.
#2 My Family CANNOT mind their business.
If I tell my family about everyone I've talked to or dated, I would have the entire family too far in my business to the point where I cannot stand it. My family is nosey! My cousin and best friend are dating and the whole family knows every time there is the slightest issue. His mother, my aunt, tells her sisters (including my mother), and they all talk and discuss and make their own theories and solutions and some way, some how the whole family knows an exaggerated story of what happened (That was a long sentence). This is not a scenario, it is factual. I think it is so important to not only keep the public out of your relationship but to keep your friends and family out as well. I don't mean keep them from KNOWING. I just want their knowledge to be limited to what I want them to know, nothing more than that. I don't want to bring someone whom I don't even think will be around for awhile. I don't want to have the "this is why we stopped talking" discussion. Quite frankly, it's none of their business why I stopped dealing with someone.
#3 I am single.
I don't have anyone to actually bring around. Why would I bring someone home if we aren't going steady? I think that is a mistake that many people make. If they are not your significant other do not introduce them to the family in such a manner. I am single. I am exploring my options and looking for something that is going to be worth my time and effort. I need something substantial and with substance. If we are just having fun, you aren't getting taken home with this one.
The biggest thing I stressed to her was that I do not want the entire family in my relationships. My relationships are mine and they are not to be approached as a family affair. I just better preach :)
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