I was about to lose my mind the other day. I am fed up with being broke, fed up with being 100% reliant on my mom, and tired of being bored as all hell with my life! It was mostly my mom pissing me off, making me insane but for the past week or maybe even longer, I have been feeling unnecessary and useless. When I got to college I made it a point to be as involved as possible, to have a continuously expanding social life, and make sure that my name was associated with something positive and I did just that (Although I'm sure someone on campus doesn't like me for some reason, or has heard something negative about me. But who cares? Nobody is liked by everybody! In general, Tiana is associated with positive things.). Between classes and friends and organizations that I am either helping run or participating in, I am always doing something. I get little sleep but it's all worth it because I know I did something. Well at home, it is a different story. I live in the middle of no where with nothing to do, I have a license with no car, no job to support my need to do something, and I am constantly somebody's go to babysitter or house slave. I have been to the movies twice and on one adventure and I have been home for a month! I don't know what to do with myself when I am here.
I have been trying to find a job since before I even came home and I have run into nothing but bad luck. I planned on having a job about three weeks ago. This whole broke thing is not for me. If I could, I would get me some hoes, put them on these corners, and have them make my money. Sigh. Being broke is not and never will be okay. It just motivates me more to get this degree so I won't have to deal with this when I get into the real world.
On a happier note: The past two weeks (I am on my third week now) I have been really focusing on working out and getting healthy and in shape. I was struggling with the diet (at first) but now it is getting easier and easier! The best thing is that being dedicated is becoming easier and easier. I made up in my mind that the only way I was going to meet my goals is not only working out but adding running to my workouts. And I did just that. I pulled the idea out of a hat and just started. And I am so proud to say that I am keeping it up. Today I did a mile and a half making my total so far this week four miles. My goal is five per week until July. While it may not be much in anyone else's eyes, it is in mine. At the very least, I am getting my ass up and doing something about the things that I can change about my life.
If I have to be broke and bored with my summer, I can at least get my body right, right?
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