Having a Confident Afro at Work

A lot of people, on a day to day basis, ask me about my hair. If you don't know me, I have 4C Afro-textured hair that I do not straighten. Being a natural has not only allowed me to become the most confident and vibrant version of myself, but it has allowed me to empower other women through simply showing them that it can be done, and it can be done well. I wanted to take this opportunity to blog about something dear to me, while sharing some insight with the rest of the natural hair community, on a topic that is incredibly necessary to discuss: Natural Hair in the Workplace.

Since graduation I have had three jobs, each progressively better than the next and each being completely different environments from the other. Though graduation was only this past May, I think I have developed enough reactions and enough experience to share my thoughts and to tell you all what I really think about it. By first sharing with you a little about my three very different jobs, I will then be able to share my experiences and give some advice to the natural that's wondering if she should let her mane be free. And if you like spoilers, I will tell you that my advice is just that. Free her.

My first job directly out of college was a barely part-time gig at Macy's. It was 100% retail and customer service oriented. The Macy's shopper knows what she wants, has coupons she needs to use and can be anywhere from your average American woman to the foreign woman visiting her family from all corners of the world. My second job was a full-time teller position at a bank in the middle of a small town South Jersey city. That customer ranged from the millionaire who was hidden behind normal, ever day clothes, to the guy living check to check just to make ends meat. There was little to no diversity there, I being one of the only Black women I seen on a regular basis. My coworkers were all extremely corky and diverse, but the customers on the other hand, were not. The diversity of customers was really only prominent in class and salary range. I worked at both Macy's and the bank until about three weeks ago when I started at an International travel assistance company. It is a very corporate office but on a day to day basis we deal with people from every corner and crevice of the world. The diversity is abundant and although it is a very corporate environment, it is very open and accepting to people and their differences.

I went a bit into detail about my work experience because I want you all to have a small idea as to the crowds that I have been surrounded by in the work place. I don't want to be misconstrued as knowing what everyone should expect in all fields nor do I want you all to think that I just got lucky and landed an accepting job. I wanted to paint that picture for you all so you can put into context the types of environments I have experienced. In addition to my own experiences, I can say that some of my friends, who have had similar experiences as me in completely different fields, can agree with my opinions and experiences. With that being said, let's get on with the subject.

For all three jobs I interviewed with my natural hair. The ever handy, trusty old PUFF did me well. I wanted to go into each job setting an expectation for them. Just like a potential employer expects you to look nice, be well-spoken and to be the right "fit", I wanted to make sure my employer knew I was playing no games. I am not in this for the "look", being natural is who I am at my core. If an employer can hire me in my most natural state, then surely they can appreciate me should I decide to pull out a closure and give it to them straight one time! I believe in setting the standard from the very beginning. I also believe that if you are beyond qualified for a job, they will be able to look past a quirk that you may have (whether it is your hair or a general trait that you have) and see that you can get the job done. If you are nervous and think an employer will not hire you because of your hair, I charge you to wear your hair naturally and confidently to the interview. The interview is not just for them to see if you are qualified, it is for you to see if they are qualified. If you believe in yourself, then you will set your own expectations to be met. Each time I walked into an interview, I knew my worth and my purpose and by knowing that, I knew that I can't work anywhere where they don't accept me for who I am. I charge you, naturals, to set that same standard.

Within each job that I have had the reactions to my hair have all been different, but in general, they have all been positive. Working at Macy's women would constantly comment on my hair, how much they liked it or asking for tips on how they can do their hair the same way. Women of all nationalities spoke to me about my hair and many would talk for long periods of time and ask me for advice. One woman in particular, who was white but told me she had a mixed daughter, asked me how she could educate herself and her daughter on her hair so that she could stop damaging it with flat irons and relaxers. Another young woman told me that I inspired her because "under her braids" she was in the process of going natural. I told her that it was absolutely a process and that I, too, wore protective styles to grow my hair out. At Macy's it was the most I spoke to women about hair of all of my jobs combined.

The bank was a much more professional setting than Macy's and, as stated earlier, it was a much different crowd. A lot of customers had probably never, or at least very rarely, seen a woman wearing her natural hair, and I would often get people staring. I would say hello and proceed with their transactions as they stared at my hair more than they met my eyes. I rarely ever felt like it was a feeling of disgust or distaste, but more out of curiosity and sometimes interest. The feeling wasn't nearly as exciting or inspiring as the reaction at Macy's but I kept on anyway, and I think that is what made the difference.

My current job, I have worn my hair in about five different styles, from crochet braids, to buns to puffs and all of my reactions have been incredibly positive. I have yet to get those annoying questions like "how does it do that?" or "does it get tangled easily?"! I've gotten only compliments, hardly any stares. Working in the international business, people are much more open to diversity, different cultures and the individuals that work in the field tend to have traveled the world and seen so many different types of people. To them, my differences simply make me unique. They are not a hindrance to my appearance but an asset.

The most important thing about wearing your natural hair to work, regardless of where, is owning it and being confident in it. Walk with your head held high and let your strut be nothing less of a runway catwalk! You have to normalize your hair so that others will. Natural hair may not be the norm, but it doesn't have to be some awkward purple elephant in the room. In addition to being confident, you have to know what works for you and your work environment. I am not sure my coworkers would be ready for a full on, all out FRO, but having it pulled up into a puff keeps my wild and lively hair neat, but still free to breath and be. Going into work fearing that your hair isn't good enough or that it is going to be an issue has already made it an issue. If you are not confident in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to appreciate it? Your hair that grows naturally out of your head is just as good as the hair on the heads of others, and if you accept that, you will force others around you to accept it too.

If you are worried or just don't know how to go about wearing your fun coils to work, here are a few tips:

#1 Know your hair. Taking the time to learn what works and what doesn't work for your hair is incredibly important. By knowing your hair you can prevent hair fails and know that your hair will always look its best.

Hair fails: hair not drying before you have to go to work, styles turning out wrong, etc.

#2 Have "go to" styles. In the event that your twistout doesn't dry or if you fall asleep before getting a chance to do your braid out, what are you going to do? A halo twist? A comb-out and puff? A wash-n-go? Knowing your hair and knowing what "go to" styles work best for you will keep you looking great all the time without having to compromise the natural you.

#3 Do not worry about what other people think. If you worried about what people thought of you all the time, do you think you would be where you are today? By being focus and self-motivated people will look to you as an inspiration to be themselves rather than worry about what you could do to "look better". If people see you and your hair as one entity, rather than seeing you and your hair as two separate beings, you will have nothing to prove. Stop worrying about what others think and make sure you take pride in yourself first.

#4 BE CONFIDENT. There is nothing more powerful than a woman who's sure of herself. Whether you have a closure and bundles or your fro is on fleek for the day, exuding confidence and being proud of yourself will put you at the forefront of anyone's mind.

So to the queen who wants to wear her hair to work, or to an interview, I encourage you to do so. By being yourself in combination with being qualified, charismatic and confident, you will do nothing but impress your potential/current employer. Set the standard of who you are and make sure they are not confused about the expectations that you have in place. Many women believe straight hair first, natural hair later. In some cases, and depending on the person, that may absolutely work well for them. My logic is this: If you wear your hair straight and then wear it naturally, you are setting a standard of straight hair. If when you wear your natural hair and you receive negative feedback, you will have to make a decision and deal with a conflict you may or may not have expected. However, if you set those expectations from the beginning, they will already know what it is and you will already have the upper hand. All in all, whether it's in the beginning or the end, follow these four steps and you will be just fine. Don't let the game play you, you play the game.

Know your hair, have your "go to" styles, don't worry about what others think and most importantly, BE CONFIDENT!

Thanks for reading :)

Sold Souls

When we think about the idea of "knowing your worth" it is important to understand exactly what that means. For everyone defining this may be different, but for me it is all about understanding your personal value as a human being. My personal value lies within my womanhood, my culture, my education, my personality, my intellect, my family, my spirituality and so on and so forth. When I think about my worth, I think about how I expect people to treat me, in all aspects of my life. If you were to think of yourself as a product, how much would you "cost"? I quote cost because I use the term very loosely. I cannot be bought and I have no monetary value. I am far more VALUABLE than that. By understanding my value, I know that I cannot and will not settle for certain types of treatment, and I will continuously aim for only what I see fit to be a part of my life. Knowing your worth is knowing what you deserve and having the audacity to accept nothing less!

There are so many people, especially women, who are selling themselves short. In the context of relationships, so many have lowered themselves to relationships where they are unhappy or are being treated awfully. Women are sleeping with men for designer bags and make-up. Men are sleeping with numbers of women with no protection and not caring about the consequences. In the context of careers, our generation is accepting their McDonald's checks and spending it on nice shoes and expensive belts instead of using that money to advance their careers. We would rather have a check than have a better quality of life. At work, we allow people to talk to us any kind of way because we see ourselves as “inferior” because of our status or pay grade. We allow society’s standards to dictate the treatment we will accept instead of recognizing what it is that we deserve and defining for ourselves what it is that we expect from the individuals around us. Have you sold your heart, mind, body or soul for less than its value? Are you selling yourself short? Are you settling for less?

For this post, I’d like to mainly focus on relationships. I believe there are more sold souls in the realm of relationships than there are in another other facet of life. Why are we settling? What are we searching for? Where does our true value lie? I ask these questions in order to engage you in this thought process of understand the different ways in which we are settling and selling ourselves short. So why exactly are we settling? Well, I believe it lies in our need to get instant gratification. With a double tap we can know if our crush thinks we are cute or if our #MCM knows we exist. With 140 characters and a DM we can ask a girl for her number and bypass the chase of making her smile and asking her name first. We can express our opinions to the entire world with the very tips of our fingers, with a little assistance from wifi and BAM! It is done. We have grown so accustomed to having everything RIGHT NOW that we cannot even imagine what it is like to actually wait for something. In that impatience, we settle. We take whatever we can get for the instant gratification that it brings. In relationships, instead of waiting for the right person, the guy who’s got everything we want, we rush to the first guy who checks off more than three of the boxes on our checklist. We find ourselves being excited to finally have what it is that we’ve been looking for.

What are we searching for? Well, we are searching for that fairy tale ending of course. We are searching for the guy all of the love songs are talking about or the girl who every rapper is looking for. We are looking for our own personal relationship for someone to idolize as their relationship goals. On social media, the internet and everywhere we turn we are looking at happy couples in their beautiful relationships. We only see the smiles, the fun dates, and the good times and we tell ourselves that THAT is what we need to have. By settling, we attain those “relationship goals”, someone to post our happy moments on Instagram with, and no substance for a long lasting relationship. 

So, if we are settling because of our need for instant gratification and it is due to our search for the perfect relationship, how does any of this tie into knowing our value? Where exactly does our true value lie? Well – when you do not know what you are worth, you will continue to fall for these microwave relationships. When you do not know your worth, you allow societal law to rule your personal life and that sets your goals, not your own personal self-worth. The true value of a person lies in one’s ability to love and appreciate oneself, and to know one's expectations of other people. When you know your value, you know that you want more from your mate than nice gifts and expensive dates. You can decide that you want someone who has the same religious views and personal interests, as opposed to dating men who have no spirituality or practice a faith that you do not believe in (if that is what you prefer). You may want a partner that is active in their community and not someone who parties and finds themselves in a club multiple times a week. Knowing your value means knowing exactly what YOU mean to yourself and what you should mean to the people you allow into your life. Knowing your value means not accepting less than what you deserve in any capacity. So stop settling! Stop letting society tell you that you should be laid up with ‘bae’ and end up letting yourself to settle for the first guy who's willing to accept the title.

In life, especially in relationships, you sell your soul to the cheapest bidder when you settle. I know what it is like to be chasing after the heart of a guy who has no intention of caressing yours. The outcome is never and will never be worth the pictures on Instagram or the warm body next to you at night. As women, we think “Oh, he will come around.” Or “He will see what he has in front of him eventually.” When will we stop waiting for someone else to dictate what happens to our hearts? When will we stop being sold souls trying to find a loan to get our hearts back? It takes so much more to mend your heart than it does to protect it ladies. Protect your personal life from people who do not deserve to be in it. Protect your body from people who only want to abuse your precious gifts. Build a fort around what you find is valuable and only let those who deserve a key to your city entry. Love yourself enough to stop settling, to stop selling your soul to the first person who bids on it, know your worth and only take what it is that you deserve.

Don't be one of those sold souls searching for a loan to buy it back...stop putting a price on your body, heart and soul and start valuing yourself enough to only accept what you deserve. Nothing less.

Why I Hate Social Media

Have you ever commented on a picture and had somebody attack you via IG or Facebook? Someone comment on a status or mention you with the wrong tone or disrespectful language? 


Social media is something that I often blog about because while it is so embedded in our daily lives, we are slowly but surely internalizing it as a way of life and expression, for both the positivity and negativity that it offers us. The Internet as a whole has given people this immaculate, hyperbolic sense of free speech that causes them to say whatever they want, to whomever they want, however they want. It allows us to hide behind a username and generate a perception of who we want others to see us as. It has become a place where anyone, regardless of gender, race, class, economic status and educational opportunity, can come together and share whatever comes to their mind with no repercussion to what it is that they've said.  And it is utterly and completely disgusting.

Recently, I comment on a picture of Raven Simone as a young girl in African dress. My comment was in a joking manner, commenting on the fact that she does not even acknowledge Africa as a part of her. If you haven't seen the memes or the videos, it is a known fact that she has made comments that, some would say, has tried to remove herself from being considered Black, African American, Mixed, whatever you would like to call it. A young woman proceeds to mention me, of all the people who commented, and direct her opinion towards me. Now, she wasn't overtly rude or disrespectful, but her tone was out of anger to the general public, yet she mentioned ME.  My frustration comes from my complete misunderstanding of why people on this earth think ANYONE would care about what they have to say about a lighthearted comment. It was not her picture nor did I mention her. Long story short, my response was letting her know that I actually didn't care about her opinion, my rebuttals, followed by some rebuttals from the original poster. 

I think people have this misconception that "since I can, I must do". Since you CAN simply mention someone and tell them how they are wrong and how your opinion is better, doesn't mean that you HAVE to. What happened to speaking when you are spoken to? Or better yet, being able to have a debate with someone without taking a shot of virtual courage and blasting them with belittling words? The Internet has made people terrible with communication and the abuse of self-expression and free speech is becoming out of hand. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not upset because of a random instagramer who's opinion irritated me. Nor do I think people should not have the ability to say what they want.  I'm upset because I see situations like these all the time. People get on these social pages and attack one another like animals. Whether it's Kylie Jenner or Anti-Religion pages or Celebrity gossip pages, people will go in the comments and fight to the death...over social media. 

I hate social media because people lose their minds and their home training, especially when a tragedy such as Trayvon Martin or Eric Garner happen. The virtual fights between Blacks and Whites were repulsive. The racist comments and prejudice tweets I seen were shocking. It's like, we forget that behind these usernames and emojis are real, live, breathing, functioning people with feelings, emotions and a destiny and all we have to do with our short time here on earth is sit in front of our phones badgering one another about our individual opinions that neither assist nor serve of any purpose to the lives of the people their talking to! My greatest desire is for people to stop using social media as an outlet to be the person that they aren't. Stop trying to be the smartest kid on the gram because you never were in class. Stop being the racist, spoiled brat that never had a friend from a different race, social class, or religion because your family failed at offering some diversity in your life. Stop treating Christians like we are all out to get you, or attacking our religion like we care about how much you hate our practices. STOP ATTACKING PEOPLE WITH YOUR OPINION. IT. DOES. NOT. MATTER. You are irrelevant to the person you are talking to. You are a phone, a computer screen to them. Just as they are to you. Stop using the Internet as a place for you to spread hate and to argue. 

When people use the web to express themselves in their own way and space, I have no issues with it. Keep the pro-choice and the pro-life pages for those who support those movements or those who want to learn more, don't use them as an opportunity to call each other sinners or chauvinists. I for one am a firm believe in self-expression and being opinionated (as you can see). But, what you will not see me do is go on the internet seeking to attack and debate with people just to find pleasure in doing so. I don't have time for that and neither should you all. 

If you have an opinion, post it. If you have something to say, blog it. If someone says something that you don't like, sure! Mention them and let them know how you feel - but if you do, treat them like they are someone you will see at school or at work the next day. Because in real life, some of y'all know you'd get slapped for some of the things you say over social media! Seriously. 


End rant. :) 

Postgraduate Thoughts

This past Friday, May 8th, I graduated from The Lincoln University with a degree in Spanish and French. I proudly graduated Magna Cum Laude and I couldn't be happier with my success. This accomplishment is something I've worked for for such a long time and it still doesn't even feel real. I kind of don't know what to do with my self. These past few days have been a combination of figuring out what my next moves are and beginning this process of "re-branding" myself. The world that I am catering to is no longer my undergraduate peers and the faculty and staff of the university. The world I am dealing with is much bigger than that. From my little world at home with my family and community, to the big world that I must go out and face, I have to reevaluate myself and set goals for the next few years in my life.

I've always been upwardly mobile. I am always looking for a way to develop and make myself better. Being out of college is going to challenge that idea of being able to constant looking forward with ease because there are no longer class titles to look forward to or a certain amount of credits to count to signify credibility, you just keep going. That is why setting goals is so important. Who knows what life is going to be like in two years. Who knows what it will be like in four, five or even ten years! All I know is more than anything, I hope to continue working toward the goals that I have and refrain from letting the "post-grad life" get to me.

The typical post-grad life that I am trying to avoid is the one where the graduate is making minimum wage, chillin at home. I may very well make minimum wage, and I am not knocking anyone who lives with their parents, I simply refuse to live that life and that is all I have to show and define for myself. I may not be exactly where I want in the next few years but I want to continue to progress in my personal life. The plan is to challenge myself to use my free time for my hobbies, like writing and reading, and using my "in-between" time to enjoy my youth. All I am saying is, I don't want to spend my days at home or at work being sad about my future, I want to keep moving forward. If there is anything Lincoln taught me, it is to keep moving forward, even if you are drowning in your misery, keep going!

Here are some of my future goals:

1. WRITE. WRITE. WRITE. I plan to have at least one book published / in the process of being published by June 2017. I don't know if it will be a work of poetry or if it will be a novel but I have so many ideas in store that I don't really know which to run with first. I started writing a novel that I think would be a great idea to run with so maybe that's where I will start!

2. Get back in the gym! This past semester put my physical (and probably mental too) state to the back burner so my hope is with the summer, I get back in the gym and back to working out. The weather change has also made that ten times easier!

3. READ! Man, it's been so long since I've read a book 100% for leisure. Reading has always been second nature to me and when I tell you that studying literature in THREE different languages will make reading in your personal life seem like a chore, believe me. But I never stopped loving it and I cannot wait to start on this lengthy reading list that I have.

4. Start getting involved in the Tri-state area / Philly poetry scene. I had a lot of experience on campus with poetry and spoken word and I am so excited to go out and explore the poetry scene in the surrounding area. I really want to see where I can squeeze myself in but also, how I can learn from the vets so I can become one myself.

and lastly...
5. TRAVEL! I've traveled all over Europe, I have been to Georgia and Missouri in the past months, I am always taking adventures in the tri-state somewhere and there is even more to come! I will be heading to Atlanta in a few days via a bus (which I am really excited about!) and then I will be heading to California for a few weeks for my first few courses in graduate school! Not to mention I just got back from a cruise to the Bahamas! When I get back to the East Coast I know my boyfriend and I are looking to go visit my friends and family in DC, New York and maybe we will be planning a Fall weekend somewhere like Denver or California. There's been talk of a road trip too! Who knows! I am just excited to get back to what I love.



And one more thing! This isn't a goal, just one last post-grad thought for this entry: I freaking miss my friends.

Journey to the Ivy Leagues: PLOT TWIST

When Journey to the Ivy Leagues was in the beginning stages, my intent was to document my acceptance into the University of Pennsylvania, an Ivy League institution. I tried to keep up with the things that I felt were important to document, so that, upon my success, someone else could follow through too. My journey was never limited to just my process of getting into UPenn, it was to document my entire journey so that my readers could follow with my growth, to know that there was someone who was going through this journey with them and to find a space for me to figure out this process myself. My most recent update was all about my feelings of getting declined from Temple university, which was originally my back up plan. This final blog post was supposed to be my celebration of getting accepted into UPenn and sharing those feelings of accomplishment, as well as encouragement for those who are in the process of, or considering attempting to follow into a similar journey. Well, this blog is not about that at all actually.

A few weeks ago I received an email over breakfast telling me that my admission's decision was posted on the online application portal. Before I opened the email, I had to really gather my thoughts and composure because I was out in public and I wasn't really sure how things were going to go. It turned out that I did not get into Penn and to be completely honest - it really sucked. I was content with the answer because deep down inside I knew that most people who were getting into those institutions were already accepted (Applications were due in Mid December/Early January). More than anything, I was excited to have an answer from them so I could figure out my life. Luckily for me this plot twist doesn't end with a no, but a yes!

Prior to hearing from Penn, I was contacted by Sonoma State University in California about their summer program for a Spanish, Master's degree, one which I would be spending a few weeks each summer taking intensive courses. I figured why not take my summers and travel and take the academic year to travel some more? I get to be everywhere I want to be at the same time. Not to mention the program is right down my ally - Spanish Lit. I get to stay with my family during the holidays, be in the city with my love, see my girls throughout the year, keep traveling, and still doing what I do best - be a student. I think what scared me the most about not getting accepted by both Temple and Penn, was that I was afraid of taking a year off! Anyone who knows me, knows I love being a student. Don't get me wrong, I was upset. I did have to take my time to mourn this lesson because I know I am beyond qualified to get accepted into any university I want to. That application was fantastic and both Temple and UPenn  are going to be incredibly sorry I am not one of their illustrious alumna, however I think there were some technical difficulties and simply put - God had something else planned for me! I am really excited that things have fallen into place. I'm excited about what's to come because there are so many great things changing in my life. I hope to be publishing a small work of poetry very soon, I am getting ready to start my next work and novel that I hope to self publish, I am graduating from The Lincoln University and I am a few steps from conquering the world. This by no means is the end, but a true beginning.

So ultimately, I didn't get into an Ivy League. And I know that was the whole purpose of this thing, but as I have learned in the past, your path is not always what you anticipate it to be. You can do everything in your power to do something and still not get what you want, but that doesn't mean what do you get from that is not good. Sometimes, it is much, much better. I ended up where I am today because of a similar, but very opposite situation. I received some form of a scholarship from every institution that I wanted to go to expect for my first choice. And now, there is no other university that I would rather call my Alma Mater than The Lincoln University. Maybe Sonoma will be the same. My life is constantly changing but the lessons I've been learning are evolving me for the better.


Thank you to anyone who's followed this series and to all those who stop by to ready my blog.
This blog truly is something that I love and cherish and it brings so much joy to know that people, anywhere, take the time out to read my blog. Keep coming back...please? :)

- Tiana

Journey to the Ivy Leagues: DECLINED!

Applying for grad school is a tricky situation because you pay as much as one-hundred dollars to have a university consider you for entry into xyz program, you wait for months to hear a response and all that time you are praying that they accept you. Feelings of relief and accomplishment from completing the application were my initial feelings. Worry and Anxiety weren't too far behind and even feelings of excitement developed during my waiting process. But all of that waiting and all of those feelings only have reign until that email comes in with the final results of the admissions coordinators. What happens when the answer isn't exactly what you expected? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I have experienced that undesirable feeling.

A few weeks ago I received an email from Temple University stating that I would not be accepted into their Spanish, MA program. They did not give me any details as to why my application was not chosen keeping the email short, sweet and to the very disappointing point. Luckily for me, Temple was just my back-up plan. Initially, my heart dropped and I just put my phone down. Seeing that email made a thousand feelings cross my mind and then I came to the conclusion that there's nothing life can throw at me that I can't handle. I have been through so much in the past few months that this decline hasn't even effected me the way I thought it would. I expected to be crying and sobbing but instead I've been aloof and pondering solely on my next move. Sure, I am incredibly hurt by the situation but I've grown to be more of a trooper than you could ever imagine.

One of the things I've had to consider, being that I have only applied to two graduate school programs, is the possibility of not being accepted. That wasn't really much of an option initially. My focus was simply to make my application a clear reflection of who I am and to make these universities NEED me. I was more proud of my applications than some of the papers I wrote throughout my collegiate career. I see this as more of a depiction of Temple's lack, rather than my own. The loss wasn't for me, but it is for them. When dealing with rejection it is important not to find value in the "acceptance letter" but to find it in the life lessons that are to be taught from it. I'm continuously learning that all the NOs in my life are doors to the wrong path being closed. Through this season of rejection in my life I have had to deepen the confidence that I have in myself and to strengthen the faith that I have in God. The plans that I have in my life continue to change and be disrupted by rejection, but that only means that my plans are no where near as big enough for the blessings coming my way. My focus now is to build a plan B that is just as thorough and pleasing as my plan A, and to continue praying for plan A to fall through. Maybe this is God eliminating options for me.


I don't regret applying to only two institutions because I believe God had a direct hand in my process of choosing. He has not led me this far for nothing. He has never brought me into a situation that I could not get through. I conquer because He is my conqueror. And so, despite this saddening news, I am still hopeful for an acceptance and to continue my journey to the Ivy Leagues.

Melanin Mocha

As many of you may know I am not just a blogger but also an aspiring novelist, poet and avid reader. In my free time I perform and work with an amazing group of poets, known as iSPIT, at my beloved university. In November we did a show called "Riot Reconstruction: Coming to Amerikka" where we addressed our views and opinions of the state of black people in this country. There were many recollections of Mike Brown, police brutality, racism and other topics relating to this issue. I wrote Melanin Mocha for all men of African descent, assuring them that they are loved and supported by women of African descent. In a time where the brown body is being singled out for acts of terror, acts of racism and hate, acts of ignorance, and an abundance of other unfortunate forms of discrimination, I felt that it was necessary to remind both the black man and the black woman of their pedestal. Shortly after the November performance, the murder of Micheal Brown of Ferguson, Missouri was NOT indicted. There was an uproar and a continuous need for the campus to hear our perspectives.

Earlier last month I was allotted another opportunity to perform my piece, "Melanin Mocha", at a Black History Convocation that I, along with my wonderful Court of Royalty and Excellence, had the opportunity to organize for the campus. Earlier that same morning, the campus was awakened to find that the insult "NIGGER" was spray painted on our University's sign for all those who passed by to see. Being that The Lincoln University is the nation's first historically Black college and university and my HOME, it was imperative that our Black History convocation was memorable for those who attended. For that performance I changed some of the words to depict that incident by saying "...and so they write nigger on the Lincoln University sign" rather than the original phrase.

This poem means so much to me because I was birthed by a melanin mocha woman and man, who were raised by melanin mocha parents, who all birthed melanin mocha children. I stand by my community and my people because I stand by humanity and love for all. I hope that my words are inspiring and that all are reminded of the great contributions to this world by people of color and that our presence is to be respected just as any other human being would. Check out both performances.

Melanin Mocha, February 2015 performance.

Melanin Mocha, November 2014 performance.